“Once in a while we,or may be just I, have the feeling that our life would be much more better if we had a second chance, in we where able to ‘cheat’ in some way. To live our lives again knowing the stuff we know today. Well, my darling, I must confess I cheated.”
Is not that Jane was not used to James strange behavior, but that kind of confession was totally incomprehensible. So she said the only thing she could say: “what are you talking about?”.
James and Jane met in a concert. James was the leading voice of a not-so-famous rock band. He was happy with that, he earned enough money, and was well known, but not enough to be the target of paparazzi or hearth magazines. Also the concerts were much more enjoyable, as he could interact closer to the public without being at physical risk.
- I had a previous life before this one, said James. – I was a not so good musician, and we were not together there. We met at college, and the love for music bound us together. Not a very strong bound, otherwise we wouldn’t lose track for such a long time. It was partially my fault, I had a crush for you, but never felt secure about hitting on you. Finally, the graduation day, just before it was time to get into the auditorium I told you something stupid: “I wouldn’t mind being more that your friend.” I said it with a big smile, half kidding. But you knew me well and your eyes told me you knew I was serious. You didn’t say a word that day, neither did for the next 10 years.
- You know? – he continues – I was going to ask you if you remembered the day we met again, sometimes I can’t help asking about stuff you won’t remember. We met again in a seminar so boring that I fell sleep. Being awake by you was a mix of surprise and embarrassment. Surprise because I didn’t expect to see you again, and embarrassment because of your shameless laugh at me. A short update on our lives told me that you had just dumped the poor John. 14 years together and you suddenly realized it was a waste of time. It looked like you were doing quite well, if you were in pain you didn’t show it.
“We leaved the place together and went for a coffee, then a beer, and then my place. It was a perfect night and seemed like a good chance to start again. You opened your hearth and told me how the poor John was not so poor, how he broke your hearth. May be it was not the end I expected for the night, but at least you were by my side when the sun rose again in the morning.
“It looked like a good new beginning. I didn’t have a crush anymore, I was in love and put my whole life in it, but you didn’t choose me. You picked somebody else. You didn’t love him, but you picked him anyway. I was a coward, and felt unable to go ahead just by myself. So I took a gun, and shoot myself. Then I woke up, as a kid, in my first day of school again. It was hard to manage because I was confused, the world seemed exactly as I remembered, and I wasn’t even sure about the reality of it. I was struggling to make sense of what I was living, but failing totally. After some time I realized I couldn’t fly, neither teleport myself or do any typical dreaming thing.
So I gave up, I assumed it was real and started cheating. I could do the test much faster than my mates, so I did. I started earlier with the singing lessons and I became a surprise to my teachers (”oh, he learns so fast!”). I created the band, and made myself popular, and used my new situation to date the girls I liked in school but always rejected me. But even if my life looked like perfect, I always thought about you. I missed you all the time.
When I was invited to the concert we met, I was so happy. I knew I was going to met you that day. I knew you were going to win the tickets in the local radio. And I was going to…”
- Did you really know? – Asked Jane interrupting the long monologue.
- Of course I did. I know a lot of stuff you haven’t tell me. I know the cracking wood sounds in your old house made you nervous. I know you cheated on the radio contest to win the tickets, but you are too ashamed to tell me. I know you had an abortion when you were 14.
- Who told you!?
- You did, in another life. I thought I was having a wonderful second chance. But this morning I realized it was just a dream, that the shot may be just killed me and I’m living a strange after life, or I’m in a coma and all of this is just in my head, or I lost connection with reality and everything I have told you is just nonsense I tell to the real people. Anyway is not real…
- How can you be so sure? How do you know the ‘other life’ was real?
- Because of two things. First one is that we are together, something that wouldn’t ever happen in the real life. The second one is that dreams have some feature. Real life is full of boredom, but in dreams there is something happening all the time, may be nothing amazing, but something anyway. I’m having a great time. I have had a great time from the day I woke up as a kid again and don’t remember a single episode of boredom since. That’s why I’m sure.
